Love Bugs

Love Bugs

“With the heart of a child, your dreams come true.”

The connection I have with ladybugs is sacred. There are times in our lives when little things happen that are so surreal, so intimate, they are truly meant only for us. It’s as if the universe is communicating with us personally. These little ladies have played a big role in my spiritual experiences. They have since I was a child.

The instant the recess bell rang during kindergarten, I was out the schoolhouse door, scanning every leaf, every flower for these little love bugs. The feeling I would get when I found one was addicting. The best way to describe it is sheer excitement. It was as if my soul squealed, jumped up and down, clapping, then back flipped. I loved them, to put it mildly. I still do. They still create that same feeling for me today.

I loved them so much that I couldn’t let them go. Whether they were red with black spots, black with orange eyes, yellow, or albino, I’d collect them and continue on my search for more, always, wanting more. I had the eye for them.

When the second bell rang, signaling recess was over, I would slyly try to sneak back inside, fists closed, hands behind my back. “Guilty” written all over my face… I was a dead give away. I remember my teacher asking, “Cassy, what do you have there?” “Nothing,” I’d lie. She’d literally have to peel my sweaty palms open, usually to find them smashed to death. Of course, I never intended to hurt them; I just didn’t want them to get away.

They say when a ladybug takes flight, whisper a wish to her, and she’ll carry it with her on her wings, till it comes true. I felt the importance of these little ladies, and the role they’d play in my dreams becoming a reality. Being the indecisive child that I was (still am), I could never make up my mind what to wish for. There were so many desires of my heart. So I kept them hostage. They were like little genies, my captives until I could decide. The moral … if left to my own devices, I crush my dreams.

In order for the Universe to unfold as it should, I have to let go. I’m aware today that ‘I think’ I know what I want. ‘I think’ I know what’s going to make me happy. I really don’t. Only my creator knows what’s going to give me true happiness. I’m not referring to the temporary contentment that comes from a delicious meal or a new outfit. I mean pure bliss. Serenity. That internal peace I crave daily. In my experience, if I surrender and have faith, the Universe brings exactly what my heart desires, even when I don’t know what that is. It’s not always what I thought I wanted… it’s more. It’s much more. If it were up to me, I would probably settle… unaware that I’m even settling. I believe in dreams and I believe the Universe wants to support that calling we all have inside. It wants to bring us what our hearts desire. But, I have to let go to receive it. I used to think holding on made me strong… but really… the strength’s in letting go.

I look back on my childhood, that story I just shared, and smile. I don’t judge her. I identify with her. She’s me, literally. I have compassion and think “Awe, child… if only you would let go. Those little ladies will carry your dreams and wishes to the ends of this Earth, even if you don’t know what they are yet. All the desires of your heart will come true… in time. Patience.”

I’m letting go today, and my dreams are coming true. It’s magical. My creator still sends me ladybugs. They’re a reminder that I am on the right path; that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. They encourage me to trust in the magic of the Universe, to be present in the moment. Not to force things or try to control the outcome. To let things take their natural course, and unfold as they should. The Universe is constantly communicating with us. We just have to be open, to receive the message.

My heart is filled with gratitude today. The support and encouragement I continue to receive, to pursue this passion, means everything to me… and I want to share that with others. Thank you.

My incredible nephew found this little lady a few days ago, at my brother’s birthday party. When I told him “make a wish” as she flew off… he yelled out, chasing after her, “I wish you would come back!” She stopped flying at that moment – and landed safely on the ground. Seconds later he scooped her up again and yelled, “IT CAME TRUE!” We died of laughter. It was so precious. Then, she peed on him. So he let her go. He didn’t think that was very lady-like.